Which pain is worse: the shock of what happened or the ache for what never will?

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Which pain is worse: the shock of what happened or the ache for what never will?


Infertility consists of:

  • the inability to become pregnant
  • an inability to maintain a pregnancy
  • an inability to carry a pregnancy to a live birth…

… in couples having regular unprotected sex for at least 12 months.

Sometimes, when couples are trying to conceive, they are always expecting it to happen in the near future, they don’t notice signs that something might not be right and a diagnosis of infertility is often made later rather than sooner.

That moment of diagnosis is painful. The words used by the medical team stick to your head and never leave. Your world is turned upside down and you question everything you had taken for certain until then.

After this initial shock, there’s the realisation that your future will be different to what you had in your mind.

These two pains: the initial shock and the ache for what never will, consist of inevitable suffering that we can’t get away from.

These are natural feelings and you need time to process them. However, if you ever notice these feelings are controlling your thoughts, behaviours and actions in several aspects of your life, and keeping you from achieving other goals in life, that means you need to ask for help of a fertility coach, to support you as you find perspective and create new meaning for the loss you experienced.


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