Recalling a time when I questioned my femininity

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Recalling a time when I questioned my femininity


Today, 8th of March is the International Women’s Day and I would like to go back to a time 16 years ago when I questioned my femininity and womanhood. It was the day I was told my uterus is malformed, I didn’t have a cervix and the top 1/3 of my vagina. It was the day I was told I was infertile. The day the choice we take for granted of having children was taken away from me. The day I didn’t feel whole, not a complete woman, as if a crucial part of me was missing.

Despite the physical appearance of a teenage girl and genetic testing confirming I am a woman, those facts didn’t seem enough of a guarantee to settle my existential crisis. It took a while to understand who I am, what it means to be a woman. It was a journey of mourning the losses of infertility, of coping with involuntary childlessness and breaking down beliefs imposed by society of what women should be, do, or have. It was a journey that eventually made me stronger and made me feel more woman than I could ever feel.

Because being a woman doesn’t have to do with your internal organs, or the way you look, the way you think or the way you do things. Being a woman doesn’t even have to do with your genes. The matter of identity is much more complex, it’s about what you feel in your heart.

My words today go to everyone who identifies with being a woman, regardless of what your genes, body or society might say. In a time when so much is accepted in society, it’s time to stop making people feel less of what they are for reasons that are outside of their control. Be brave and love yourself!

Join us on the 11th November in London for the empowering inFertile Life Event (contact me for free tickets)

Andreia Trigo

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